Savoring Switzerland

Don't forget your fantastic souvenier while visiting Switzerland! These lovely devices can be found in many of the toilets (aka bathrooms) there!

An Eruption at Old Faithful

If you have ever been to the beautiful Yellowstone National Park and visited Old Faithful, you know that you can be waiting a while. The intervals range between 60-110 minutes. When I visited, it was about 45 minutes of waiting before Old Faithful finally erupted in all of its glorious wonderment! 

After that much time passes, one tends to have to relieve themself so off to the ladies room we went, where a putrid odor slapped me in the face as soon as I walked through the door.  

"Whew," I thought, "Somebody took a serious dump." I proceeded to walk into the unoccupied stall only to find a colossal explosion pasted all over the wall and back of the toilet. I stared in amazement! How does that much fences come out of one body? And how do you traject that much diarrhea, completely missing the toilet bowl?

All I could imagine is that some poor woman waited way too long to see the famous eruption that when she finally got to the bathroom and pulled her pants down all hell broke loose!

How ironic!

I feel bad for the person who had to clean that disaster up and for that woman, whose memory of Old Faithful was forever tainted by a serious misjudgment!

Well That's Uncomfortable

Dear Paris,

Please invest in toilet seats, it is the 21st century. 

Every bathroom I went into there looked like this! First encountering a seatless commode, I thought the toilet was broken. After checking three different stalls I realized this is as luxurious as it gets! 

Since You Were Wondering

Do we gossip about men in the ladies room?

Do women encourage each other to pull down their shirt or unzip their jackets to enhance their cleavage?

Do we talk much dirtier with one another in the bathroom about taboo subjects?

Absolutely!

The Stranger & The Stranger

I walked into the woman’s bathroom, after squeezing through a group of bouncers huddled outside the bathroom door, only to find the girl I had briefly chatted with earlier, hysterical and really drunk! 

About two hours before, this petite young blond girl asked me a question as I was passing her; the accent was definitely out of place. After answering her question I asked where she was from.
“Alabama,” she responded in a thick southern accent.
“What are you doing here, “I asked.She looked around in an alcohol-induced fog and responded, “I really don’t know. I just thought I’d see what Utah is like.”
After asking a few more questions it was clear that this girl was not only in the state by herself, she was in a random bar alone. 

Back in the bathroom a couple hours’ later Alabama is crying, using another ladies cell phone to call her mom, trying to figure out what time her flight is the next morning. She couldn’t remember what airline she was on, what time the departure was, she had no place to stay that night and no transportation to the airport the next day. After listening to all this going on, I exited the stall I was in as one of the bouncers walked into the bathroom to talk to Alabama. What a mess, I thought as I washed my hands and left the room. 

Now, a girl being hysterical in a bathroom isn’t cause for alarm, or a reason for so many bouncers to be concerned. What had them alarmed was the man, at least twice the girl’s age, lurking outside the bathroom, trying to convince everyone involved that he knew the girl and needed to take her home. He was even showing people, including me, that he had all her contact information on his phone (or perhaps it was actually her phone). Creepy! 

The bouncers finally snuck Ms. Alabama out the back door. I hope she made it home. 

Don’t go to a bar by yourself, in a strange state and get completely hammered! Even people in Utah are predators!

Paranoia and Perverts

Every time my aunt goes into a public restroom, she looks under any closed stall door to see if there are “strange” people or activities going on in there before locking herself into a stall.  

While the paranoia seems exhausting, it paid off when she walked into a gas station bathroom in Prescott Arizona, only to find a man locked in a stall, standing on the toilet seat waiting for women to use the restroom so he can peer over the wall and watch them do their business.

A Bar Tender's Confession

One girl in my bar got so drunk that she passed out while peeing. I had to go into the female bathroom, pick her up off the toilet, pull her panties and pants back up and carry her outside. This has happened twice since I've worked here.